The Great Auk fires manager today

Today at 09:09:29 AM

In a press release today the Great Auk's owner/GM fired the field manager effective immediately.   Also in the release the owner threatened certain pitchers with a "fate worse than extinction" if they don't start pitching up to expectations. Starting pitchers: Max Scherzer 8.39 ERA, "Drop Dead" Fred Peralta 5.37 ERA, Seth Lugo 6.97 ERA and Aaron Civale 5.40 ERA were all singled out by the owner.

"This team was built to win in 2024 and this tomfoolery by the pitching staff WILL Not continue" A beer vendor from the upper deck was chosen to manage the team for the remainder of the season.   "He can't do any *#@&ing worse" bellowed the owner.

When asked about the performance of closer Jeff Hoffman 12.46 ERA 0-2 with two blown saves including yesterday's 3 run blown save the owner's face turned purple and then he suffered what appears to be an apparent heart attack and had to be taken away in an ambulance. The press conference ended at that point.